But You Still Have Me
by rhymeswithblue
Summary: It takes him eighteen years to fall in love with her.


But You Still Have Me  
><em>(logankatie)<em>

/

Logan meets Kendall the first day of kindergarten. It's recess and the girls are playing house on the playground like all five-year-old girls do and the boys are pointlessly running around the field like all five-year-old boys do. Logan momentarily stops his pointless running to tie his shoe when he happens to notice a group gathering a little ways away from him.

"Your name is Kendall? That's a girl name," mocks one of the boys, the type of boy who you know will grow up to be a douchebag.

"Yeah, I have a cousin named Kendall. And she's a girl," adds another boy, the type of boy who you know will grow up and amount to nothing.

"Why don't you wear a pretty little dress?" the first boy teases.

"Yeah. Because girls wear dresses," adds the second boy.

"Stop," Kendall says, backing away from the taunting to sit on a faraway bench.

The two boys laugh at their supposed victory and then head to play soccer, forgetting the whole thing in a matter of seconds. Then Logan turns back to look at the drooping Kendall sitting by himself. On one hand, he reallywants to play soccer. On the other hand, Kendall looks like he needs a friend. Logan's mom said he should be nice.

He _really _wants to play soccer, but.

"Hi. My name is Logan," he introduces as he sits down beside Kendall.

"I'm Kendall. You probably think it's a girl name too."

"No, it's a cool name," Logan reassures.

Kendall's face lights up and everything is all right in the world. "Wanna be friends?"

Logan nods happily and the two of them start running around the field, quite pointlessly, just like before, only now there are two of them, running together.

/

The call comes February 28. Kendall's mother, Jennifer Knight, had just gone into labor and Kendall is to spend the next few days at Logan's house while she stays at the hospital.

"Can we go see her?" Kendall asks the moment Logan's mom picks them up from school. "Can we go see my mom?"

"Not yet," Joanna Mitchell replies. "We'll go when your mom calls."

Once they get home, the boys go up to Logan's room and half-heartedly play superheroes while keeping an ear open for the telephone. After fifteen minutes, they give up all pretenses of the game and simply sit on the top step of the stairs, waiting.

Joanna sees the two boys and smiles at their actions, yet her eyes are filled with sadness. She walks away, muttering something about "Kendall's no good, lousy father, leaving them at a time like this." Kendall doesn't seem to hear. Logan pretends not to.

Finally, just as they finish dinner, Jennifer Knight calls and says it's okay for them to visit now. The two boys are in the car, seat belts buckled and everything, before Joanna even has the chance to hang up the phone.

Logan's dad drives all of them to the hospital and Kendall nearly knocks the door to his mother's room down. He runs to give his mother a kiss while the Mitchells make their way into the room at a less destructive speed. Greetings and hugs are exchanged before the two boys slowly and cautiously make their way to the roll-in baby crib. They stand on their tip toes to peer at the sleeping newborn.

"It's a girl," Jennifer announces. "Your new baby sister."

Kendall beams at his new status as older brother. Logan has never seen his best friend so happy, so radiant. The baby stirs awake and stares at the two faces overhead in confusion before a tiny smile graces her pink lips.

"My god, she is precious," Joanna exclaims as she looks at the infant over her son's shoulder. "What's her name?"

"Katherine Claire Knight."

Little Katherine starts to whimper and her mom picks her up to calm her. Seeing the two boys watch with undying interest, Jennifer holds the baby out. "Do you want to hold her?"

Logan and Kendall give each other nervous glances before Logan shoves Kendall forward. It is _his_ sister, after all. Kendall awkwardly holds his arms out while his mother gently places Katherine in his arms. His arms remain stiff and he just stares at the infant in his arms, like he has no idea what to do. Which, you know, is quite accurate, since he indeed has no idea what to do.

"You have to be careful!" Logan says. He doesn't exactly know all that much about holding babies either, but he does know Kendall is doing it wrong. Logan quickly reaches out to support Katherine's head and tries to readjust Kendall's arms like he's seen people do it on TV, all the while Katherine is crying, and Logan isn't quite sure how it happened but he ends up holding her instead. He lightly rocks her side to side and her cries quite down to soft coos.

"Logan is a natural," his dad jokes and the three parents laugh.

But Logan is too preoccupied watching the infant in his arms, with her dark, curious eyes and her rosy red skin. Logan isn't that big himself—he is just a five-year-old midget—but there, holding baby Katherine against his chest, he can't help but notice how terribly, terribly small she is. And he is a little scared, like how can someone so terribly, terribly small, survive in this gigantic world?

Then she reaches out and grabs his shirt with her terribly, terribly small fist. It's a total d'awww moment and everyone's heart melts at the sight.

He's going to protect her, he decides. No matter what, he's going to protect her.

/

Nine-year-old Logan goes over to Kendall's house for a play date one day. Jennifer offers him a snack which he gladly accepts. Jennifer fixes the best snacks and Logan always thought of her as the destined-to-be-a-soccer-mom type.

But before Logan could eat his snack, four-year-old Katie (she goes by Katie because she couldn't pronounce Katherine when she was first learning to talk) runs up to him, tears streaming down her face, and hugs his waist since that's as high as she can reach.

"Uh, what's wrong?" Logan asks.

"Kendall broke my doll," she sobs.

As if on cue, Kendall comes running after her, holding the very evidently broken doll in his hands. "I said I was sorry!"

"Kendall, what did you do?" Jennifer asks, inspecting the poor Barbie doll, head and limbs unattached.

"She dropped it and I rode my bike over it. On accident," Kendall admits, shamefully.

Katie cries harder into Logan's shirt and Kendall just watches his bawling sister, holding the pieces of her doll out in front of him, completely guilty and completely helpless.

"It's okay," Logan says, "we can fix it."

Katie peers up at him with teardrops still in her eyes. "We can?"

And so, Logan and Kendall spend the next half-hour pouring over the kitchen counter, desperately trying to jamb the pieces back into the doll. Katie watches the two work, serious as surgeons.

Finally, Logan manages to snap the last arm into place and Katie smiles again. She clutches her doll close to her heart, thanking them over and over again. She stands on her tip-toes and gives Logan one sloppy kiss on the cheek. Kendall expects the same, but Katie runs right past him to go play with her newly revived doll.

"See?" Kendall gestures to his retreating sister. "I swear she likes you better. And I'm her _real_ brother."

/

Remember douchebag boy and amount-to-nothing boy? The two that bullied Kendall? The two that Logan despises? Well, turns out the douchebag boy's name is James and the amount-to-nothing boy's name is Carlos, and after being thrown together on the same hockey team, Logan, Kendall, James, and Carlos became an inseparable fearsome foursome.

It's the 2008 Junior Ice Hockey North Regional Championships. One minute left on the clock and the score is tied 2-2. Suddenly, thirteen-year-old Logan finds himself in possession of the puck and he knows his team, the Hawks, only have one last chance to win this game.

With the rush of last minute adrenaline, he races across the ice and passes the puck between an opponent's legs to James. James then skates further towards the net and right before he collides into three other players, he spins around and passes the puck to Kendall. Kendall speeds in the opposite direction, heading straight for the other team's goalie. He fakes a shot but instead passes it to Carlos. Taking advantage of the goalie's confusion, Carlos swings and sends the puck right into the net.

The buzzer sounds to signal the end of the game and the commentator announces the Hawks' marvelous victory. All the Hawks team members are celebrating in the center of the ice rink, forming a mosh pit of helmets and oversized shoulder pads. Logan manages to escape and skate to the edge of the rink where the moms are fanatically dancing in the first row seats and eight-year-old Katie Knight is jumping around with her obnoxiously large foam finger.

"YOU GUYS WON," Katie shouts ecstatically.

"YEAH, YOUR STRATEGY WORKED," Logan shouts back.

Katie gives him a look. "Well, of course it did."

Logan only laughs. He picks Katie up, over the wall, and onto the rink. Kendall comes over and together, Logan and Kendall lift Katie up to sit on their shoulders.

"Here's to our little secret weapon!" Kendall yells as the team mosh pit rearranges around the elevated Katie.

"Our evil genius!" James screams.

"Our team mascot!" Carlos adds.

"Our lucky charm." Logan says this quietly, so only Katie could hear. She grins and he squeezes her knee causing her to squeal.

Later, Jennifer Knight takes the fearsome foursome plus Katie to the neighborhood pizza parlor to celebrate. There's much laughter as Carlos mocks the look on the goalie's face when Kendall faked the shot and much cheering as they give Katie credit for her ingenious game plan. After three pizzas have been successfully annihilated, they all stand to head home.

"Carry me?" Katie asks her brother with the cutest smile on her face.

"Yeah, no." Kendall walks away, leaving his sister hangin' with her arms outstretched.

Logan chuckles and Katie turns to him instead with a top-notch pout. "Carry me?"

"Yeah, no." Logan imitates Kendall and begins to walk away before Katie grabs him by the shirt and pulls him back to her. She stands on her chair and jumps onto his back, forcing him to give her a piggy-back ride.

"Wow Katie, have you been gaining some weight?" he teases as he puts his hands under the crook of her knees and shifts her further up his back.

"Hey!" she tries to retaliate and punch him but she's at a slightly disadvantageous angle.

He carries her onto the van and soon enough, Katie is asleep, sprawled out across the back seat with her head in Logan's lap and her feet in James's. Her hand rests, palm up, against Logan's knee. When he places his own hand over hers, he sees that her hand is half the size. He grins.

Because even though Katie is eight years old now, with wit and defiance to spare, she is still so terribly, terribly small.

/

"Katie was right. You're an idiot."

/

When life throws you lemons, you become Big Time Rush.

It seems like life at Palmwood constantly moves at a break-neck pace, as if the remote broke and now it's stuck on fast-forward 4X. It was like a split-second one-eighty, going from zero to sixty, from rags to riches, from Minnesota hockey players to Hollywood hot-shots.

Oh wait.

Logan takes in the change as best as he can. He likes to think that inside, he's still the same person he always was. But he is a sixteen-year-old boy who experienced more once-in-a-lifetime opportunities than he ever bargained for. The line is starting to blur between old Logan and new Logan; or perhaps there is no difference between the two at all.

He dates Camille because it feels like the right thing to do. Then he breaks up with her because it feels like the right thing to do. Because having an on again/off again relationship is so _in _right now.

But one afternoon, back when Logan and Camille first became LoganandCamille, the two of them are hanging out on the couch, watching movies. He finally gets the guts to put his arm around her.

Katie walks into the living room and stops dead in her tracks when she sees the couple.

Logan immediately pulls his arm back. He doesn't know why, he just feels compelled to. Like what he and Camille are doing is too indecent, even if they are only snuggling.

Camille sees Katie and waves at the ten-year-old. Katie ignores her, keeping her penetrating glare on Logan. After much too tense of a moment, Katie turns around and wordless walks away.

"What was that about?" Camille asks.

"I don't know," Logan answers.

Shrugging it off as nothing, Camille rests her head back on Logan's shoulder and resumes watching the movie. Logan doesn't put his arm back around her shoulder.

There was something about Katie's expression that crushed him. Her eyes first held shock, then sadness, then disappointment.

Like Logan had betrayed her.

/

He catches up with her just as she's heading inside from the pool.

"Hey Katie, I have to ask you something."

She looks up at him and nods.

"Is it true that you like James?"

Her eyes widen to the size of flying saucers and her face reddens to a bright scarlet and before he knows it, Logan is shoved down into the seat of a chair.

"How do you know that," she demands. Since he is sitting, they are more or less at eye-level, which means she is able to stick her face two inches away from his.

He panics a little, because Katie is scaring him. Yes, Logan Mitchell is eighteen years old and he is afraid of his best friend's little sister.

"I…uh…your sleepover," he answers truthfully. Katie just turned thirteen and had a sleepover party with Rachel, her best (and only) friend, who moved to Palmwood a few months ago.

"You were eavesdropping?"

"No, no. I happened to walk by your door right when you said it." He cringes as she only gets madder. "Sorry?"

She smacks Logan's arm as hard as she could. "You will not speak of this. To anyone."

He rubs his arm and nods his promise. If only he'd known she would get so mad, he wouldn't have said anything at all.

As she turns to storm away, he catches her hand to stop her. "But it's true?" he risks asking. "You do like him."

"What's it to you?" She struggles against his grasp but he doesn't let go. "It's none of your business, anyway."

And she's right, there. It's none of his business who she happens to have a crush on. But _James_, I mean, come on. Really.

"Look, forget it okay?" her voice is harsh and it cuts. "It's just a stupid crush. I spend all my time with you guys anyway, so what did you expect."

"Why him, though? Why not—"

Maybe she doesn't hear his slip or maybe she pretends not to. She yanks her hand free and stalks off, before turning around one last time.

"It's nothing." Her voice is softer now. "Besides, it's not like anyone is actually going to fall in love with his best friend's baby sister."

/

Jennifer Knight gets married, and the boys are there in front row seats for all the times she's been there in front row seats for them. She is marrying Paul Whiting, a perfect match, because Logan always thought of him as a destined-to-be-the-husband-of-a-soccer-mom type.

Three minutes until the start of the wedding, Kendall runs out of the dressing rooms frantically.

"Have you seen Katie?" Kendall asks his three friends. They all shake their heads no. "The wedding is almost starting and Mom's maid of honor is missing!"

Paul and his groomsmen are lining up at the altar. Paul catches his soon-to-be stepson's eye and beckons him over.

"I have to go," Kendall says. "Can you find Katie?"

Logan, James and Carlos nod and form an emergency three person huddle.

"Okay, so if you were a teenage girl whose mom is about to get remarried, where would you go?" James prompts.

"I have no idea. But let's start looking that way." Carlos points at a set of side doors and the three boys dash out.

They run down the halls of the church calling out Katie's name, checking every room and bathroom and broom closet alike. They run into the garden but no one is in sight, except for a girl with curly hair sitting on a bench. James and Carlos already rounded the corner when Logan stops and gives the girl a double take. There's something familiar about her, like maybe he's seen her at school before or something.

The girl looks up and sees him. It takes him way longer that it should have to realize that the girl _is _Katie.

After graduating high school, Big Time Rush went on a world tour and then Logan was contracted to film a television series in New York. Now he is back in Los Angeles for the first time in two years. Last time he saw Katie, she was just a kid; now, she is fifteen, not so terribly small anymore, and _beautiful_.

(Everyone always said Katie would grow up to be a pretty girl.)

"Hey," she says when he sits down beside her.

"Hey," he says back. "I almost didn't recognize you with curly hair."

She smiles. "Mom insisted."

"Speaking of which, why are you out here? Aren't you supposed to be in there, walking down the aisle in front of your mom, like, right now?" he asks.

She sighs and plays with the hem of her dress. It takes him way longer than it should have to realize she is nervous.

"What's wrong?" He gives her a slight nudge.

"It's always been the three of us. Mom, Kendall, and me. It's not the perfect family, but it's enough. Now Paul is coming into the picture…"

"You don't like Paul? He is very nice."

"Of course I like Paul. That's the problem." She looks at him with troubled eyes. "I feel guilty that I like Paul more than my own father. But how can I like my father, when I've never even met him?"

Logan doesn't know what to say, for this is way out of his area of expertise. Still, he wants to comfort her, so he puts his hand on her knee. When he looks back at her, she is staring at his hand on her knee, and suddenly, the tips of his fingers that graze her bare skin are scorching. He doesn't pull away.

"What was he like?" she asks, so quietly he barely hears her.

"Well, I only met your dad a few times before he…left. Most of the time, he was distant and stayed in his office. But one day, your dad decided to build a tree house, so for the next week, your dad hammered and sawed away in the backyard and Kendall and I helped him. Your mom made us sack lunches so we could eat outside, like real construction workers. When we got too tired, your dad would chase us around the backyard and we laughed until we couldn't breathe."

Katie smiles but her eyes are watering—a prelude to tears. Logan gently squeezes her knee and continues.

"Your father was a lot of bad things. But even after all this time, your brother still only remembers the good aspects of your father. He only remembers the dad who built him a tree house, not the dad who left his two children behind. On the inside, your father was a good man. His actions just got the better of him."

She sniffles and quickly wipes away her tears before it can ruin her makeup.

"It's not your fault you've never met your father. But Paul is inside right now, waiting to be your father if you'll only give him the chance." Logan stands and pulls Katie up with him.

"We've got a wedding to save," she says, slipping her hand into his and the two of them run back towards the main entrance.

They reach Jennifer just before she explodes in hysterical anxiety. Katie hugs her mom and takes her place as maid of honor. The music begins and the bridesmaids begin proceeding into the church.

Logan gives Katie a wink as she walks by. Then Jennifer catches his eye and mouths 'thank you', nodding in Katie's direction. He hangs back, waiting for the bride to enter before he slips back into his seat.

/

It's Thanksgiving and they're all back in Minnesota, visiting family. Logan and Katie are sitting on the back porch steps, watching their relatives and friends play makeshift hockey on the damp grass.

She turns to him and says, "You know, I was in love with you for a long time."

The confession comes out of nowhere and he doesn't know how to react.

"Don't worry," she smiles, "I got over it."

/

Twenty-one-year-old Logan sits on his hotel bed with his laptop, exploiting the free wi-fi, while sixteen-year-old Katie sits beside him with her head on his shoulder, reading a magazine. Big Time Rush is on their summer tour, promoting their new album, and Katie decided to tag along.

He sneezes and she says "bless you" and he looks at her in surprise, as if he just noticed there was a girl curled up next to him this whole time.

"What are you doing here?" he asks.

"I got bored."

"Why don't you hang other with the others?"

"Kendall is on Skype with Jo and making gaga faces, Carlos just ate a whole pizza and is burping every five seconds, and James will not shut up. You're the only sane one."

Logan laughs and brings one arm around Katie's shoulders, pulling her close. "Nah, you just love me."

"Ha, you wish." She squirms out of his hold and hits him with her rolled-up magazine. "And what about you? Whenever you have sound checks or interviews, you always ask me to come with you instead of one of the guys."

He shrugs and goes back to his laptop. "You're the only sane one. I like my peace and quiet too."

They sit in comfortable silence, leaning against the headboard. Then Katie taps his arm and points to an interesting magazine article: _Logan from BTR torn between two lovers_.

His eyebrows furrow. "Um, _what_."

"So which is it Logan," Katie asks, trying not to laugh, "are you still in love with your ex Camille or are you pining for your new costar Emily?"

"Camille and I broke up ages ago, we're just friends now. And Emily has a boyfriend! Why are you reading crap like this? It's all pointless speculation." He snatches the magazine away from her.

"Hey, I wasn't finished reading, jerkface."

She reaches out to grab the magazine, but Logan holds it just beyond her reach, using his slightly longer limbs to his advantage. In the struggle, Katie manages to crawl onto his lap and take the magazine. However, that only makes Logan tickle her side and he easily steals it back.

The two continue wrestling on the bed, laughing louder and louder. Twice, they almost send Logan's laptop to the ground. Finally, he successfully pins her down. He smiles in mocking victory.

"Hey Logan, I still have—WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING."

Logan and Katie spring apart at the sound of Kendall's voice. Only then does Logan realize their previous position was quite promiscuous, what with him lying on top of her on the bed and everything.

Yeah, oops.

"We were just fighting over the magazine," Katie quickly explains.

Logan straightens his shirt, wrinkled from the wrestling, while Katie fixes her disheveled hair, and oh boy, this really looks bad. On a scale of one to tomato, Katie's blushing cheeks are definitely a solid 9 and Logan has a feeling his own face is just as red.

"Dude. She's my little sister." Kendall gives such an accusing look that Logan has to duck in shame, even though he knows it's all an innocent misconception brought on by unfortunate timing.

"It really was nothing. Katie is practically my little sister too. I would never…you know…Come on, Kendall, I've never even thought of her like—" Logan can't finish his sentence because in the corner of his eye, he sees Katie wincing at his words. He doesn't want to offend her. She is a perfectly attractive young woman and there is no reason why guys wouldn't think of her like that. And crap, now he_ is_ thinking of her like that. No. Get that image out of his head.

"Okay." Suspicion still drips from Kendall's voice. "I just came in here to return Logan's phone."

"Thanks, man."

"…"

The situation is getting awkward. Fast.

/

Carlos and James come out.

And honestly, who _didn't_ see it coming? After all, none of their girlfriends ever lasted. So when Carlos and James finally muster the courage to confess, Logan, Kendall, Katie, Jennifer, and Paul just give them knowing smiles and then go back to what they were doing.

Later, Logan realizes with a start that now he's alone. Carlos and James are together, Kendall and Jo are freaking _engaged_, and Logan is unconditionally alone.

"But you still have me," Katie tells him.

"Yeah. I still have you."

/

He kisses her.

It's the last day of summer before Katie heads to Pepperdine and she's mocking them because the boys never went to college but Carlos quips they're rockstars, so yeah, and Katie is making her way around hugging them all goodbye and she is eighteen years young with everything to live for and she's so gorgeous it almost hurts to look at her and when she stands in front of Logan, he thinks back to every beautiful memory, remembers holding her for the very first time, when she was so terribly, terribly small, remembers a conversation years ago where she confessed she loved him once and something overcomes him because when Katie leans in to give him a hug, he leans in and goes for a kiss.

Time halts.

There is a chorus of gasps. Two seconds later, James and Carlos start making obnoxious catcalls and whistles. Kendall viciously points at Logan and Katie, shouting "AHA!" like he's been trying to catch them in the act ever since the magazine incident.

But none of that matters. Logan only cares about the girl in his arms who is currently immobilized—in shock? in fear? in disgust?—and who is certainly not so small, anymore.

Hesitantly, he pulls back, afraid that Katie will slap him or something. He takes a risk and opens one eye. Then the other. Her face is flushed but she's smiling.

Oh, she's smiling.

* * *

><p><strong>post script: <strong>hey guys. so here's my first btr story. i don't watch the show that much and i'm not really into this fandom, but this oneshot idea would not leave me alone. i was watching some episode with my sister and i thought, _oh hey, logan and katie would be kinda cute_, and BAM. this happened. i'm getting sick of this layout (i've written a lot of oneshots like this myself) but i was too lazy to change it. this said laziness is also at blame for the abrupt ending.

anyway, i hope you enjoyed it :)


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